What's in it for Domme?
One of my all time favorite playtime activities is Tease and Denial. When I first starting learning about this I was fascinated. I actually learned that this was a huge turn on for me even before I started my D/s lifestyle. It started at night when my husband and I would lie in bed together and I would lazily run my arm across his cock. At first I didn't even realize I was doing it.
Then I would start tickling his thighs and lower stomach, always sliding my arm and fingers past his cock or balls. Before I knew it he would start to breath heavily when I would do this. I began to do more and more caressing around his privates but not actually making direct contact. After a while I took it farther and would slide my hand over him and he would almost jump, trying desperately to get better contact with my hand. When he would do this I would stop. "You will just lie there and be still and quiet." Of course he did and before I knew it he was promising all kinds of things, trying to get me to go farther.
Wow, it is amazing what you can get a man to do when you tease him. Hence the benefit for the Domme. I was watching a supposed Tease and Denial video last night that was nothing more than a porn tagged as a tease and denial. The woman had the guy gagged and tied to the bed and then she proceeded to "tease" him for about 45 minutes. She even licked his cum off of him after she had let him cum!! Yeah right. The only one licking cum after one of our play sessions is my submissive!!!
As I was watching this all I kept thinking is "I hope the male submissive does not think this is what tease and denial is like!!" She was exerting 150% of her attention on him and he just layed back and enjoyed. Well, not in my world. See when you get a man so desperate to orgasm and you deny him that privilege, you can get him to say and do all kinds of things. This is where the benefit of the Domme truly comes into play.
First, you can get your submissive to a place he is willing to do pretty much anything, even things he wouldn't necessarily do otherwise. Humiliation play works really well at this point. For years and years men have complained that women don't swallow. Well, this is his opportunity to see why women don't like to swallow. Make him beg you to eat his cum off a dildo in order for him to be allowed to cum. Get him to promise that he will wash the toilets, naked with a toothbrush. Make him promise whatever you want. I promise he will comply. I am into getting him to do some pretty nasty things. You must make him do whatever you made him promise. If you don't, he will say yes to anything knowing you won't follow through. You can also follow through sometimes and not others. This works well when you get him to promise something really humiliating, he thinks you won't follow through, and then you do. Wicked I know!!
The best thing I like to do it keep him in a state of arousal for days. If you do this you will find that he becomes very attentive. The power a woman has over a man is priceless. The power that comes from knowing you can call him at work and say one nasty word and he is in instant arousal is HOT. Especially if you time it when he is in a meeting. You can make this game last as long as you like. After 3 or 4 days, a chastity device really helps to deepen the knowledge the submissive has that he is under your complete control. When you are first starting your D/s relationship, the strong D/s bond is still forming. It would be totally naive to think you could do a prolonged tease and denial play with your submissive and he would not cheat. He is just not trained well enough to have that kind of discipline!!
Other things you can do when you are playing tease and denial games is conditioning. For me, my subby is not a pain slut or masochist at all. I on the other hand am interested in more pain play. When you have a submissive you are trying to play with that doesn't necessarily enjoy pain you can have him experience this while he is ultra aroused. I love CBT. My darling likes certain less painful forms of CBT but where is the fun in that?? Then making him beg for you to do something he would never want deepens that Dominant / submissive bond. He truly has to grapple with himself to give you that power.
Then there are the mind fucks. When you have them tied down and blindfolded try this. Tease him that if he chooses not to do as you say, you will let him cum but it won't be very nice. Open a tube of Ben Gay and let him smell it. Then make him tell you what you have. Then tell him that if he doesn't comply you are going to spread it all over his nice hard cock and jack him off with it. It he is a feisty sub at all he will test you. This is when you pull out some warming lube. If you keep the Ben Gay tube close to his nose he will not be able to tell that you are not putting it on his cock. This usually works pretty well in getting him to do as you say!!
There are a thousand different things you can do. Tease and Denial is so much more than tying your submissive up and jacking him off or blowing him for 45 minutes. I don't even think that is the submissive desire. If you go and view Tease and Denial movies try and find authentic FemDom ones. If you don't, you will end up watching nothing more than a porn movie where the woman is there to please the man. I do love pleasing my submissive, and he is well pleased when I have teased him for hours, doing the things I have shared. Then when he is made to suck his cum out of a condom from my strap on he is very happy. Then make him thank you for allowing him to serve and please you!!! Now that is FemDom tease and denial!!!